Too often, my life resembles a dammed-up brook.
I want to be used by God to do His work, to flow freely down the river He commands, to show I’ve been redeemed, washed clean. Instead, I gather my logs of doubt and rocks of fear to build a barrier that pools the water safe inside.
Fresh water pours in from God’s word, prayer, church, inspirational books, usually enough to keep my pool serene and stirred. Occasionally, the water becomes so full it overflows, and I feel so blessed to have been used, but soon the waters recede and life returns to normal.
Other times, God waves His hand and a section crashes free, sending water shooting for miles. Those times are when I’m most relieved because that’s all Him. He’s showing His promise at work (Ephesians 1:11), reminding me I’m His, and I’ve surrendered, that there’s nothing I can do to fall from His hand (John 10:27-30). He will use me despite my shortcomings, even utilize my limitations to his advantage (2 Corinthians 3:4-5).
If only my story ended at this waterspout, but too often an offhanded comment or negative implication will send me searching for sticks to close the hole and repair the dam.
“I’m not ready yet. You understand, don’t you, God? You made me, after all. You’ll get me there in Your time. Whew. Good thing it’s not right now because I need a nap. I’m resting in You, Lord. ’Night.”
What do you think Jesus does when I respond this way? Chuckles? Rolls his eyes? Sighs? Asks, “Really, we’re going there? Again?” Or does he run a hand over my head resting on the pillow and whisper, “Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. (Isaiah 41:10 NLT). For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to give you a hope and future. (Jeremiah 29:11). Plans to give you more of Me (Ephesians 1:13-14).”
He holds plans for you, too. Won’t you join me in the river? Start with a trickle and see what happens?
I hope to use this blog to share with you my struggles and insights gained through the trials of miscarriage (I’ve lost seven), breast cancer (two years out), and the everyday challenge of being a Christian wife (of fifteen years) and mom (to three boys, ages 8, 5, and 3) in this American society.
Gulp. This feels more like a gushing waterfall breaking free than the trickle I had in mind. Take my hand. I’m standing at the top. Let’s close our eyes and jump together into new life. A new life that’s all God intended for you, a life lived fully in and for Him.
Because it’s in our weakness His strength abounds, (2 Corinthians 12:9-10) so join me. Let’s “Live Like That” together.
Sidewalk Prophet- Live Like That.
6 thoughts on “Join the Journey”
Wow thank you for this blog. Especially the part about Jesus stroking our head while we nap. I love that he never needs to sleep like we do. 🙂 and your struggles, I knew you had breast cancer, but I didn’t know you’ve had several miscarriages. I’ve had two. Precious pearls. Love ya!
I’m so sorry to hear that, Brittany. I’ve actually lost eight babies. One was twins. Most were before the dreaded 12 week mark, only one was lost at 13 weeks. But God is good. I’m so thankful for my sweet boys!
I knew of a couple, but never the others. Someday we will get to know all those babies in heaven! That is exciting!
Yes, it will be. 🙂
Fabulous post Robyn! So excited for you! *hugs *
Thanks so much for all you did to help me get started!
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